Who Am I?

I'm that guy.  I'm the one driving around with my left turn signal on who never turns or changes lanes.  I'm the one who forgets to close the little gas door and most likely has a  32 oz. fountain drink on the roof.  I am the one holding up the line at Wal Mart picking exact change out of a little rubber egg shaped thing.  And, that's not all. 

I get just a little too close to you when carrying on a conversation.  I leave my cart in the space you want to park in.  I always ask you to repeat yourself two or three times even when I know what you said.  I inevitably ask about things you don't want to talk about in front of the wrong people and I'm too insensitive to get the hint.  I speak really loud during movies.  I often have coughing fits while standing in the buffet line. 

I don't know how to use my cell phone very well.  When you call and leave a message I never call back because I am incapable of figuring out how to use voice mail.  When I do call you, it's from "restricted" and then I start talking without identifying myself. 

I have an annoying laugh.  I speak with certainty about things I know nothing about.  I say things like, "I know you better than you know yourself," and really mean it.  I send out mass emails that aren't in any way funny and they contain a virus.

If you are standing by a pool, I might push you in.  If you are about to sit down, I might pull the chair out from under you.  If you need to be alone, I will knock on your door. 

I am THAT guy.